The deities of ancient Rome have been busy over the last 1,000 years, knocking boots with lowly mortals and partying Bacchanal-style. Their descendants currently rule over an empire recovering from the Black Death's devastation. But one idiot on the pantheon has decided now's the time to break the one sacred rule: no human sacrifices. The gods discover too late that the abused and starving populace isn't in a forgiving mood.
Helen—a lazy, careless, yet powerful fire goddess hiding from her past—rules over a tiny mountain hamlet in the middle of nowhere. Suffering from endless ennui, she spends her time drinking, cavorting with strumpets, and breaking the holy vows of every priest the Abbey sends her way. That is until the Abbey assigns her Julius Grimble, a celibate priest who treats every seduction attempt as a test of his unwavering fealty to her.
When the mortal's revolution spills over into Helen's hamlet, she finds herself suddenly bereft of her subjects' tributes and her power reduced to that of a glorified matchstick. Julius aids her escape, and she's forced to depend on her naïvely zealous priest to survive in a hostile world where everyone's out to collect the deity hunters' bounty.
To keep her head, Helen knows she must reach the Isles of Avalon, a divine sanctuary no mortal can enter, but Julius has his own plan: his goddess must stay and defeat the heretics.
Helen has no interest in a fight, but she can't seem to leave this man—this enemy of all things fun—behind.
A heavy silence drones throughout the Basilica of the Holy Roman Pantheon. The breaths of tens of thousands of mortals lie trapped within their throats—as though one careless exhale could topple the course of history.